Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mysterious allusions to Shultzys in the press...

Shultzy's fan, Steve Bridgeland, passed this one along to us...

The Seattle Weekly recently published an article castigating Starbucks Founder and CEO Howard Schultz for his mishandling of the Sonics sale that has led to their leaving Seattle.  The article starts out with this rant:

Last week's settlement between the city and Clay Bennett's ownership group leaves Sonics fans nothing to do but whistle Annie's "Tomorrow." It's been a hard-knock life, watching Shawn Kemp get robbed in '93, so close in '96, traded in '97, and fat by '98. Watching Wally Walker and Rick Sund run the franchise into the ground, seven feet at a time (by my calculations, they took it about 49' deep). Watching Vin Baker's jowls wobble from the aftershocks of an opponent's dunk. Watching Gary Payton win a title in another jersey. Watching Howard Schultz panic-sell like he was the dude who owned a sausage shop on the Ave. rather than the head of a worldwide coffee empire.

Say what?  Did he just say that selling the Sonics is something that is more Don Schulze than Howard Schulze?  I don't think so...  For the record, here are some differences between Don Schulze and Howard Schultz for those who have trouble telling them apart.
  • Shultzy's has not recently closed 600 stores.  In fact, we've been on the Ave for nearly 20 years and intend to be here a lot longer. We will not be moving to Oklahoma CIty.
  • Howard Schulze sold the Sonics leading to the franchise leading town.  Don Schulze did not.
  • Howard Schulze sells coffee, coffee, and... uh... coffee.  Don Schulze sells brats, beers, burgers, and breakfast.
  • At Shultzy's you can order a double at our bar without using "grande", "venti", or any other faux-Italian words.
  • Don Schulze is younger and better looking* than Howard Schultz.
*This may only be the personal opinion of Susan, his wife.  Your opinion may vary.