We've been experimenting with these in the Shultzy's R&D Labs for some time, and now they're finally ready for your enjoyment. Shultzy's has created its first two fantastic flavors of Sausage Smoothies™: Cherry-Chorizo™ and Kiwi-Kielbasa™.
Smoothies have been a trend for some time with companies like Jamba Juice and now Starbucks entering the market. Who doesn't enjoy a refreshing, healthful frosty drink? But while those two corporate behemoths are focusing on the obvious, fruit-based smoothies, they're missing the mark. Ask any celebrity chef these days, and they'll tell you that pork is where it's at when it comes to flavor, so we've decided to create hybrid fruit-sausage smoothies, using the sausage recipes that have made Shultzy's a favorite for nearly a quarter century.
It wasn't an easy process. Some flavors just didn't work. Apple-Andouille failed because the tartness of Granny Smith apples clashed with the smokiness of our traditional Louisiana Andouille recipe. And I don't even want to talk about Banana-Bangers; not only did it taste wrong, but the name sounded way too sexual, even for Shultzy's.
So, it was back to the labs... And finally, we've emerged with two fantastic flavors that not only taste great, but are incredibly healthful.
Cherry-Chorizo™ blends the goodness of Organic, Free-Range, Locally-Grown, Washington Rainier Cherries with the savory goodness of Preservative-Free, Gluten-Free, Grass-Fed, Locally-Grown Pork Chorizo sausage, made exclusively with Fair-Trade spices, grown and harvested by adults with low-deductible health insurance.
The health benefits of cherries are well-known. Research has linked tart cherries to anti-inflammatory benefits, reduced pain from gout and arthritis and an extensive list of heart health benefits. Recent studies even suggest tart cherries can help reduce post-exercise muscle and joint pain. The health benefits of chorizo are less well known, but equally well-documented. Boxer Oscar de la Hoya exclusively ate chorizo while training for big fights. De La Hoya defeated 17 world champions and won ten world titles in six different weight classes. Artist Frida Kahlo also ate chorizo regularly and credited it with helping in her lifelong battle with Monobrow Syndrome.
Cherry-Chorizo™ was a clear winner, we realized that we couldn't release with just one new
Sausage Smoothie™ -- we had to have two to appeal to different palates and people with different health needs. After years of additional research, we came up with the perfect complement:
Each organically-grown, humanely-harvested, zero-carbon-footprint, kiwi has more Vitamin C than oranges, more Potassium than a banana, more Beta Carotene than a Carrot, and 62% less trans fats than genetically-modified kiwis harvested by child laborers. And Kielbasa's garlic flavor not only blends well with the sweetness of Kiwi, but reduces blood pressure, reduces risk of stroke, and anecdotal research suggests that it may even protect people from vampire attacks.
So, remember to come by Shultzy's on Sunday, April 1st to preview these fantastic two Sausage Smoothies™ before any of your new-adopter friends beat you to it and talk about it even more than they talk about their new iPads.